I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The best revenge is premature balding
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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