just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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