one might say we're banned from that church
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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