I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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