If i come over, it means nothing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
