Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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