are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
