Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
