so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
