my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter