Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just barfed on his mom.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just barfed on his mom. (404): You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault. http://tfl.nu/yh5a
  Replies (8) Good night (883) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros http://tfl.nu/6mrs
  Replies (8) Good night (5116) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1282) Bad night (12057)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday. http://tfl.nu/1b1a
  Replies (2) Good night (1223) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT. http://tfl.nu/yb4q
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment. http://tfl.nu/qz9q
  Replies (17) Good night (4065) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (3225) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home. http://tfl.nu/ow7v
  Replies (6) Good night (3465) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p
  Replies (12) Good night (2091) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5
  Replies (13) Good night (2098) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life. http://tfl.nu/a4er
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy. http://tfl.nu/nc3s
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life http://tfl.nu/b2dk
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (283)

Randomize