He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
