id be glad to
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
