too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
