is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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