in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
