wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize