So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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