hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
