Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
