Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
