the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Terrible idea I love it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
