Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
