For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
