what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The adults are the big ones right?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
