toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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