Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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