yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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