I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Terrible idea I love it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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