They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize