I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
