We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
