you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
