i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
