Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
