Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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