You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She's the barista slut.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize