well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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