I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
