that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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