There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
