Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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