i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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