so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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