return my video game
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Holy shit dude........stairs
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
