Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
