this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
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Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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