Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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