Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
