If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
