Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
