I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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