if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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