While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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