I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
