I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
