Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
