I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize