Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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