A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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