dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
