I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
