Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
